Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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