is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
