Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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