When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
