using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
