So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just want nice things and good sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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