Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
