Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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