That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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