You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
