Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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