I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
