threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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