i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize