Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
