Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
