I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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