I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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