I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
