i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
