I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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