Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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