i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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