the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It was confusing and full of hummus
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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