Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
