so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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