I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Who died my cat blue again?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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