Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
