There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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