Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
