nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't turn off my feet"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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