We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
another moral hangover. fuck.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
