Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
