Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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