I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
