we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
