even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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