I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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