She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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