I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
