My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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