As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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