Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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