I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
