Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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