I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
