Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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