It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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