soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
