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I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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