If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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