Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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