I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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