Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
