i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
