you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
