Banned from zoo.
Again?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
