happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
