my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
