So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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