I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
