I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize