you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
