My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
