they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
