he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
