Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
