my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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